I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
