Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize