god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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