There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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