I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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