I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize