Me. At least after what I've been through.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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