my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
