This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize