dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
