i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
