I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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