She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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