No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
