the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
worst night to have a conscience
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
