So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize