so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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