I wish I only lived at night.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
