The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
