The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
