on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
