He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
