I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
