Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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