MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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