so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
