Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
