This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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