I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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