I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
birth control should be required to get into college
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
