at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How's work?
Spinning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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