i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
well I can't set my house on fire every night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
