Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm at about main and main street
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
