You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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