i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize