I just gift wrapped bread.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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