They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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