My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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