how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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