You work out of a Hotel?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
