I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
