i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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