Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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