dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
