when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
