i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
