Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You pole danced in your parka.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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