i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
