That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
