Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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