Umm I'm too high to move.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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