is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
