You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize