Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
