she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize