What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
