imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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